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by Corey Gray ![]() Just as a foreword, I am a major advocate for trying to make clothing less gendered, and I want for nothing more than for ‘womenswear’ and ‘menswear’ to be just ‘clothing’, but it isn’t. I urge and try to set an example for people that clothing and appearance shouldn’t have anything to do with your gender and societal expectations, but I of all people know how terrifying it is to try and break free of that gendered box. I remember when I was younger, I would see gender nonconforming people and think to myself, “If only that could be me.” It took years, but I can finally say that I would make my younger-self proud. I know it’s daunting, but if you’ve been aching to take a step out of the dysphoria inducing clothing of your past, here are some gentle and safe ways you can do it that will give you the confidence over time to become a you that you’re proud of. Shoes
Shoes are one of those things in fashion that can be so wonderfully unisex by today’s standards. One of my favorite style of shoe is creepers. Their defining feature is their thick platform-style sole. They are a very androgynous shoe, and a great way to depart from the traditional shoe silhouettes. If creepers are a bit too alternative for your style, a cute flat or loafer, is another great option. I’m personally partial to the Unif Hellraiser, which is a spike studded black loafer, but again that will not be everyone’s style. For the warmer months, there are an incredible amount of androgynous sandals available. Dr. Marten’s and Asos.com have some great options. Jewelry Jewelry is kind of a no brainer. If you have any piercings already, just no feminine jewelry, go buy a piece or two, and any look you’re rocking will immediately have a more androgynous edge. Getting my ears pierced was the best thing I did for becoming more comfortable with my gender expression. Earrings are a very simple way to change up your look. If you don’t have any piercings and don’t feel like getting any, you could play around with chokers. A simple velvet choker is a nice and effortless option. Cute sunglasses are also a great and easy way to femme up any outfit. Playing with Different Fabrics and Silhouettes If you’d feel more comfortable sticking with a familiar silhouette, you could just try finding garments made of different fabrics. I’ve been loving mesh recently and there is a good amount of mesh cardigans and shirts on the market if you look. Really, you can walk into the women’s section of any thrift store and find a plethora of clothing made with exciting fabrics and yarns, but still in a style similar to that of a traditional “menswear” piece. There is also a ton more options for exciting prints with clothes you find in the women’s section. If you’re willing to try out some new silhouettes, definitely look for things like longline cardigans, large shawls, and kimono dusters. I always make a point of checking out the “intimates” or “nightwear” parts of the women’s section of thrift stores because there are always really nice shawls and dusters hiding there. Outerwear is the easiest way to incorporate less stereotypically masculine silhouettes into your wardrobe. If you’re feeling extra spicy, you could cut one of your old tops into a crop top, which is always a good look. I hope these easy tips give you a few ideas to step out of the gendered box you were placed in and can’t seem to find a way out. It’s really the first step that’s the hardest, but after that, there’s a wonderful sense of liberation and self-love knowing that you’re finally stepping out of the toxic masculinity that “menswear” reinforces. Remember that there are tons of people struggling with this alongside you. Stay strong!
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